All of a sudden the leaves were gone
The pages were turned, the end of the song
But the Skies are still rich with fire
From every colour between red and blue
Maybe there are some things that never end
And for those that do, there’s a new beginning instead.
I used to hate change, like really hate it. Whenever it came to that point again I would make sure I had as many ways as possible to remember how things once were. I took videos and pictures of things, tried to make my new environment like my old one, I just hated the idea of something I loved coming to an end. The funny thing about me moving to Netherlands is I learned in a peculiar way to deal with change. Netherlands has 4 seasons a year that actually vary greatly from each other unlike Singapore where its rainy season and really rainy season.
The piece written above I wrote in the fall of last year. As I was looking up at the burning sky that had so many beautiful colours in it, the neverending spectrum of changing leaves and trees that were all getting accustomed to the upcoming winter, and rearranging my closet from summer clothes to winter. I realised I had done this before. I had stood in that exact spot, a year prior, admiring the skies and leaves, changing everything once again. Realising that everything comes to an end, but that doesn’t mean it’s gone. Just like theres seasons all around us we go through seasons of how we feel, how well we are doing or what’s going on around us.
The past three weeks, about every other day something would happen where Id just sit and think, when can I get some rest in the midst of all this. The rug was constantly pulled out from under my feet, before I even had the chance to stand tall again. At times I’ve felt like that’s what my life looks like. Ever since moving here it was just hit after hit but I realised it was the wrong way to look at things. Sure there have been many things that impacted me but that’s what everyone’s life looks like at some point. The focus should be on the moments between those. The moments you forget to look at the time because you’re so drawn into something, the times that you’re gasping for air because you can’t control how hard your laughing, the times you feel peace because you’re taking a stroll in the woods with some good music. In the end it’s never the big things that you lived for, you realise it’s all those little moments that made your life as great as it was.
It’s good that in certain things the leaves are gone, that the pages are turned to the next chapter and that it’s the end of the song. Seasons must come to an end and there are things in life that need to come to an end. I’ve closed a lot of chapters the past three weeks and even though it hasn’t been fun at every moment or easy I’ve noticed a feeling of calmness taking over more and more. I’ve had the time and space to find my own road that leads to peace. There are new beginnings, more beautiful things than the previous ones to look forward to and in the meantime keep on growing and admiring the skies full of fire.
For the things that don’t come to an end, the constants that we have in our lives I’m thankful. For those family and friends that stick to you like glue, even when life gets busy and crappy.
Photo credits: Fine Art America