A couple weeks back I had to do the most difficult thing that’s come across my path, which was watch a beautiful 11 year old child get buried. If you recall my blog post Through the Trenches, this was about sweet Annalise who was battling a lung disease called IPAH threatening to take her life. Sadly the day after posting the plea for people to donate and pray, she passed away. It’s been 1.5 months since her passing, and two weeks since the funeral, but there’s a reason I chose to only post this now. Because it was such a difficult thing to do I wanted to give myself time first to come back from it. Hearing about death is one thing, experiencing it is another, but when you hear of the death of a child, that straight up screws with you.
I wasn’t angry at God for taking her, I knew that everything was in his hands and that everything has a purpose and good. I was angry at the fact that there was so much pain and suffering. This being the second child the Mckinney family has had to bury angered me, seeing Annalise’s classmates hurting and crying at the funeral angered me. Children should not know what it is like to lose a friend in such a drastic way. Seeing the pain the family had angered me because I wished so badly I could take that for them, yet there I was standing with nothing I could do to make their journey any easier.
When I heard about Annalise’s passing, I immediately asked my parents to fly me out to Malaysia. When I was 11 years old her sister Anya passed away and I only found out half a year later. I had missed the opportunity to go to the funeral, be there for the family, and say goodbye to my childhood friend. So however hard this was going to be, I knew I had to be there and deal with it. It wasn’t easy, in fact it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do but going was probably the best decision I’ve made.
In Ecclesiastes 7:2 it says, “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone; the living should take this to heart.” As I was walking through the funeral grounds with my dad, he commented how beautiful they actually are. I smiled and thought of this verse and told my dad about it. We talked about it a little and thought about how fitting it was that we were walking through funeral grounds. Death, is a part of life. However strange that sounds, we all share the same fate which is death and it is better to be conscious of that and appreciate life, than realise at the last stage that it flew by without us having a chance to grasp it.