Things are not in my hands and the best thing to do is make the most of every single moment and leave the planning up to God. As I've said before this entire semester went 100% different than I had planned and at one point it tore me apart. However if I look back now I wouldn't have had it any differently. All the pain lead me to better things and taught me that nothing is guaranteed even though you can be 100% convinced it is. The best thing is to value and cherish every moment you have right now.
it's the days where I can get myself to do all of that that motivate me in those down days. If life were always fun and easy, we wouldn't know how to appreciate it and work hard for what we want. It's the storms that make us gain appreciation and the drive to work hard. I have seen myself in the worst case scenario now, and I never want to see myself as that person again. I know now I can fight through anything (with God on my side) and I not only can, but will strive to be the best I can be.
I was really set on the numbers and constantly focusing on what lay ahead instead of looking at what lay in front of me. It started off being a coping mechanism so that I wouldn't have to deal with issues I was having at that present moment and could focus on the fun things to come the summer that lay ahead of me. I spent two years of my life only looking forward to things that lay ahead of me instead of appreciating what I had at that very moment.