Firstly I’d like to give my apologies for missing an update last week. Both my parents were visiting and as you can imagine things got pretty busy. We had a week where all four of us were in the same place which hasn’t happened since July. But that is exactly what I want to talk about!
Its a big step to start living on your own and learning to be in control of everything. I admit for me it was a bit tough to handle everything at once such as full time school, going to the gym, church, cleaning the house, doing groceries, and still trying to have a social life. After about 6 weeks I’d say I pretty much have it under the thumb and I quite enjoy it! The only thing is, once you have become independent in your living situation it’s a difficult adjustment to have your parents come back and live with you a little while. Don’t get me wrong, I loved having them here, but it certainly presents its own challenges.
Its an adjustment to make for everyone, my parents coming here didn’t know what to expect after not seeing us for so long. I noticed since my sister and I moved out we have become two vastly different people from when we left my parents. Together we have seen each other grow and change, but with my parents far away they miss a lot of that transformation. We are starting to become our own people with our own interests and goals in life. For us it was difficult to adjust to being in ‘full’ control of everything and all of a sudden having my parents back telling us when to clean and what were eating for dinner. For my parents they had to adjust to the fact that we were two different people and that we were now more in control of running things around the house.
People warned me and my sister about this, but I laughed at them knowing my family would be able to easily handle it since we have good communication etc. To my surprise it still caused conflict and it was something to work through. Just because you have a good bond with your family and can openly communicate doesn’t mean that conflicts are always avoided because of that. Having good communication in my family helped us to work through this, not avoid it. So with this my advice is to be open and communicate. Talk about things and keep each other involved in your lives. By talking and remaining open, you allow the others to see your growth as a person and the change that is taking place. Don’t expect to return to the same person you left, in life we are ever changing, never the same. Being away for a few weeks or months just shows that clearer.
It was really enjoyable having my parents here, getting to show them where I work, my school while it’s in session, and showing them what the past few months have done with me. It doesn’t take much time with me to see that I have indeed changed, but it takes time spent with me to see what those changes are and why they came about. We only had one week all together, so it seemed silly to spend that time trying to figure out our differences instead of just enjoying the time we had together. However it’s inevitable, and at some point you’re going to have to face the fact that things aren’t how they use to be and as you all grow together and apart, continue to learn how to go about that.
I’ve truly been blessed that I can see my parents so much during my time in college, I know most of my friends don’t get that and I am thankful I did get that. Moving out on your own can be a lot to handle sometimes and having them around makes it just a tad easier. As this should be, it’s healthy to move out and find your own path, but it never hurts to have support from your parents. It’s what I’m doing now, creating my own path and finding my own way about life.
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