There are times in life where you are put at crossroads, and instead of even having the slightest gut feeling of where you should go, you’re there with zero knowledge of what step to take. Times you think you’re going to go crazy because you’ve never prayed so much in your life for guidance and some sort of sign. Times all you can do is hold on to your faith and trust that God is working something, because you sure can’t figure things out and do it on your own.
I’ve struggled a lot with having faith God will make things okay again. To people reading this blog you know I have recently transitioned to a new country, started living on my own and had to 180 on all my future plans. It hasn’t been the closest thing to easy and I was standing at those crossroads, questioning God and his ways, and begging for some sort of guidance to what I were to do. Ive sought in so many different places I ran out of ideas, and even though I have yet to get an answer I have gained some advice and ideas as to what to do in this waiting time.
In conversation with a friend about how to deal with breakups, I was given the advice to ‘indulge myself in life’. What I mean with that is to create distance with the memories by filling your head with other memories. Going out into life and doing things, anything to keep busy and distracted from your thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advising you to ignore your emotions and thoughts, but I know from experience as being an overthinker that sitting at home with your thoughts all day isn’t good either. There needs to be a balance, you give yourself time and space to hurt and cry and deal with the emotion. Then you pick yourself back up and go out into life no matter how hard it is. Things are never going to get better by sitting in the house replaying everything in your head for the thousandth time. Things get better by you making a change. If you want to experience something you never have, you’re going to have to do something you’ve never done. I am a firm believer in the fact that everything happens for a reason, and that in every situation there is good. There is something to learn from every situation and every experience you go through, it’s not always fun or easy but the only way to grow is accepting these things happen and trying to make the best out of them.
Indulging in life meaning stepping out of your comfort zone. Go talk to that stranger at a party, apply for the job, adopt a dog, move to a new country, change your college major, do things that ultimately will make you happy and grow your future. I’ve now been faced with a series of choices, choices I need to make rather sooner than later about things such as college and countries and lifestyle. Which then brings me to my second point, but probably the most important one out of the two which is having faith in God. Yes I know that’s a phrase that gets on your nerves more than encourages you but guess what, I know exactly what you mean. The amount of times I have heard ‘have faith in God’ or ‘just pray’ is enough to drive me up the wall. These are phrases often said because quite frankly there is nothing else we can do. Even if it annoys you, the truth is God is in control, his will will be done, and it would save us a lot of hassle and pain if we submit to God’s will rather than plan our own. Proverbs 20:24 says, “A person’s steps are directed by the Lord. How can anyone understand their own way?” God has a plan that is much greater than any plan we could draw for ourselves, and instead of that being an agitator, it should be a comfort that when everything is going wrong and against you there is something greater coming.
The ‘waiting’ period, is probably the hardest anyone goes through when going through a trial. After the problem has come and the pain has fully found its way inside you, you’re left to do absolutely nothing but pray and have faith in God’s plan. You are left to wait, try to get through life, with a pain inside you so deep you lose faith it will ever leave. Honestly in this period I didn’t know it was humanly possible to pray so much, and to pray so much for things such as peace and comfort. However God remains faithful even in the waiting period where you feel he’s disappeared. I once heard a quote that said, “the teacher is always quiet during the test”. Just because we can’t hear or feel God doesn’t mean he isn’t there, it just means there are certain things we need to go through and things we need to learn without his immediate interference. It’s been a difficult lesson to learn, but once I was able to put my troubles and worries in God’s hands I did gain peace. The situation did not turn out how I had hoped, but before attempting it again I prayed and laid everything in God’s hands, that whatever happened was his plan and he would provide for me. Then I got the confirmation things would not go as I had hoped, but for the first time since everything went down I did not feel searing pain or the choking feeling in my throat on the verge of tears. I was okay with the outcome because I knew it’s all in God’s hands, and from now I can only move further.
This doesn’t mean life is great again, that I’m okay or happy because quite frankly it doesn’t go that fast or easily. However it is a step in the right direction. It doesn’t matter how fast or slow your progress is, as long as there is progress. For me progress was that I did not feel the same reaction as usual, I was able to place my faith in God instead of trying to figure everything out myself. Now that that has happened I can focus on the next step I need to take and from there continue to get better and better each day. There is good in everything, even the most painful and difficult times. Life is good, there are just bad things in it, so I hope you’re able to do as I hope you do. Indulge in life, have faith in God, and lay your problems at his feet because he is more powerful and no matter how hard we struggle against, his will will prevail.