When Facing the Deep End

When you’re facing the deep end and wondering what’s next in your life, its can be pretty easy to just sit back and give up. I can say this from experience because since coming to Netherlands, every single possible thing that could go wrong has gone wrong for my sister. I have been lucky and blessed that for some reason my academic journey is smooth sailing but I cannot say the same for her.

It all started with being two years behind in school due to a homeschooling situation that was not right, and thankfully, finally my family was able to get her back into the school we both graduated from in the class of 2017. 2 years older than everybody and feeling out of place she pushed through and still graduated despite nearly being pulled out of school and struggling with certain classes. Arriving back in Netherlands we immediately started the process to get back into school, we both took our Dutch language exams (and passed with flying colours). Going on with the process meant arranging our student transportation which for me was no big deal however for my sister they refuse to give her student travel rates because she was born in Malaysia. Please do keep in mind we are Dutch citizens and residents with both our parents also holding dutch passports as well as the fact that I was born in Surinam and I had no issues. To make matters worse, in the middle of summer we get news that my sister’s diploma has not been approved by the institution that can supposedly rank diplomas. Again please keep in mind my sister and I have the exact same diploma and they ranked my to complete a high level of high school whereas according to them she did a very low level of the first 2 years only of high school.

The list of issues does not stop there, but I believe I have named enough to convince you there are situations where nothing works how you need it to. However in these situations it’s so important to not lose sight of your vision. My sister came here clearly with a vision for her life and is still working hard to get that. You always have to keep looking for other opportunities and solutions because giving up is not one. Very recently I came across a bible verse (Romans 8:37-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.) This verse have me a 180 degree reset of my mindset. Everything can go wrong in life, but there is a plan in everything. Nothing happens without a reason and with everything that happens God has a bigger idea. Often times we only see the underside of the quilt which is ugly and makes no sense, but God sees the top, the beauty in everything.

There are so many things in life that are unknown that we cannot control. No matter how hard we try to hold on to what we want things are going to take course in different ways and the only thing we can do is trust in God and pray. God is not going to move every mountain we want him to move, he is going to move every mountain that needs to be moved. When you’re facing the deep end and struggling with circumstances out of your control take a step back. Take a step back and remind yourself that God holds everything in his hands.

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