Melancholy Part 2

melancholy3First I’d like to say welcome back, and that I hope my previous post on melancholy helped you to change things up a bit and get the feeling to go away more. In this blog post I’m going to be sharing what’s been going on in my life recently and step 2 to overcoming the feeling of melancholy.

The past few days have been hectic, running around the country trying to get all our shipment orders for the new house, as well as spending time with family. Hanging out with family has been a great way to relax, and take my mind off all the hectic things that come along with moving. My family and I spent an evening in Amsterdam celebrating an anniversary, and for the rest have been in the new house cleaning and putting together furniture! So all in all, it’s been crazy, hectic, and at times still painful, but slowly we’re settling and making it our new home. The importance is allowing yourself to settle instead of building walls and holding back because that is how you make the most of everyday.

So step 2 in overcoming melancholy is allowing yourself to settle into your new living place. That may seem like an overly vague statement, so here are 3 tips you can use to adjust to your new living space.

Tip 1 – Buying everything that you need to live in your new place. This includes furniture, decorations, arrange transportation, etc. The reason for this is the quicker you have a homey space the quicker you can feel at home. When I first came to Netherlands I stayed with family, and every time I went to my house hated it because it was empty, and felt nothing like home. However now that my room is furnished I am starting to feel more at home, it is easier to picture it as home and settle in there. You’re going to have to get to this step eventually, so may as well do it first. The quicker you feel at home in your house the faster you can get on with regular life.

Tip 2 – Go to your new school or workplace and familiarise yourself with the place as well as the people. This as well leads to feeling more comfortable and at home if you know your way around and start getting to know the people and different things of where you’ll be spending a lot of your time. The week that I arrived back in the Netherlands I had to go to school for workshops, immediately I made two friends and got to know the school as well as my course quite well. It helped to get me excited to start studying there and knowing how to prepare myself better for starting University. The following week I had an interview to confirm my acceptance and with this I became even more excited. I also heard good news that I no longer needed my Dutch exams so I didn’t need to stress about that. Overall going to school helped me a lot, and I’m glad my parents made me.

Tip 3 – Get familiar with the country! Go and explore, learn new things about the place, meet new people, try new things, anything to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone. This way you get to know the place better and will be able to feel more at home, as well as challenging yourself to do more than you trust yourself able to. My first few weeks in Netherlands were spent getting everything sorted, but we also made sure to take time out and see things and do Dutch things, immersing ourselves in the culture we will soon have to identify with. Step by step I’m beginning to feel better and better here. Even though I still miss people back home as well as Singapore itself, fact of the matter is this is now home and it is what I make it to be.

Adjustment can definitely be hard, but in the end it leads to a happier more comfortable life. It may seem like a painful process in the moment but it is definitely worth it. Whatever place you are at you are there for a reason and for the time being, will remain there so you might as well allow yourself the peace of having adjusted.

2 thoughts on “Melancholy Part 2

  1. Nice advice! Your posts take me back to when I started university after leaving Singapore. It was also a different time and there were very different circumstances. But what remains the same is this: keep in contact with friends around the world but also don’t forget to get used to your surroundings and make new friends. There will be hard times where you will feel so frustrated and alone because no one seems to care or understand your specific TCK needs for adjustment. BUT remember, everyone there is going through some kind of adjustment as well that you can relate to. You are not alone. There are a lot of TCKs around the world with lots of communities as well! Feel free to check out my TCK blog as well! 🙂
    p.s. I highly recommend Tina Quick’s “TCK Guide to University Transition” and Craig Storti’s “Art of coming home”

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    • Hi Alaine!
      Yes I definitely agree, and with the times changing there are more and more TCK’s now and with social media it becomes so much easier to access each other! That is exactly my goal with this blog, to connect people and hopefully give them insight into what I have gone through so they can relate or prepare! Thank you for the suggestion, I will check them out!

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